He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
