How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
