This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
