Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
