Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So apparently I’m into choking now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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