Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
