You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize