Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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