didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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