You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
