My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
