i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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