dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
