and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
3 2 1 whiskey
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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