His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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