things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
