It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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