Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
