i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
