your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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