i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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