If i come over, it means nothing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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