I am in a vortex of obligation.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
