talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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