when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
