After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
