she was so not down for the gang bang
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize