i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found your dick twin last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
