Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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