I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
