at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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