My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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