no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
