Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
