You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we're making bets on your personal life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
