tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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