As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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