I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
