I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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