Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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