i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
