Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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