I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
