Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
