I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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