Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
