Come see our sink grown plant.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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