It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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