he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
