so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
